Day 41: August is the month of 2-a-Day's

Body Attack - need I say more???  This mornings class was like anything that I have ever experienced in my life!!  I don't think that I have worked out so hard and done things that should not be done ever in life, it was crazy.  At one point I was going to walk out the door, but I didn't want Tiffany to come running out there.  Next time I'm going to try level 2 on some of the exercises.  If I don't try I won't know if I can do it right??  Now after I try it and can't do it just yet, I just have to work my way up to it.

So today is the conclusion of 6 weeks of training to run a marathon next year and I can say with pride that I am 21 pounds lighter, can walk 4.37 miles, can jog one full lap around the track and am starting to feel better about myself.

Tomorrow morning starts week 7 and it also begins the month of August and I have decided to intensify my goals slightly.  Because I want to be able to run a 5k by October/November time frame, I really have to take everything up a notch.  So, for the month of August I will be incorporating 2-A-Days (excluding Sunday's) and by the end of the month I want to be able to jog a full mile (it sounds kind of scary even saying it).  My eating is going to have to change for real, like no cheating for any reason.  I have to do this.......I can do this......wait, I am doing this.

Track Date at 8am tomorrow so I'm going to bed.  More tomorrow

Day 40: 20 Pounds Down

FREAKING AMAZING!!!  I am 20 pounds down.  Not 5 or 10 or 15, but 20 down.  Six solid weeks into this journey and I can say that I walk 4.5 miles at a pretty consistent pace, jog a full lap around the track and have lost 20 pounds.  If someone would have told me this six weeks ago I would have looked at them side ways.

Granted, I have a long way to go, but this milestone is a sweet sense of victory.  I have exercised hard (well some days not that hard) even with a number of two a days.  I have had long days at work, boat load of homework and given up sleep just so that I can get in solid workouts.

I can do this and this sort of proves it to me.  I gotta keep saying it, but I CAN DO THIS!

Day 39: I DID IT!!!!

I did it, I actually did it!!!  Well, let me clarify....I ran 1 lap around the track, one whole lap and I didn't die afterwards.  I was shocked and proud all at the same time.

This morning I got up and went to Track Date, but I didn't really push myself.  I sort of dragged along.  In my mind I knew that I should be jogging, but I didn't.  Because I was not that happy with my workout, I decided that I would go to the track after work and run completely around.  I went through the normal thought process "Seriously Rochelle, you can't do this!!" but I chose to exercise faith (even while afraid), I chose to do it anyway since it's mind over matter, right?  I got to the track around 9:00ish, but there were a lot of people outside and I felt sort of embarrassed about my physical stature and the fact that I was going to be jogging.  I gave myself until 9:15pm to get it together (and I did).  I got out of the car, put my ear buds in for my iPod and made moves.

I walked around twice before beginning my quest of conquering my fear.  I stopped at the line, took a deep breath and started.  One quadrant around was pretty good, not too hard and done with a pretty good pace.  The second quadrant in was getting harder, but I did it because I knew that I could.  The third quarter in was a beginning mind over matter for me.  I knew that I could do it, but I was starting to get a little winded.  I was purposeful in trying to control my breathing.  Finally.....the fourth quadrant of the track:

"Am I really doing this?"

"Yes, just keep going"

"Watch your breathing Rochelle, you can't tucker yourself out."

"The final line is coming, push yourself, your doing it!"

I crossed the line of victory.  I walked another lap to really slow down my breathing because it was off the hook, plus I didn't have any water with me.  Before leaving I jogged one more quadrant and was done.  Tomorrow I have Body Pump first thing in the morning, but I'm going to jog a lap again tomorrow and Saturday.  Then come next week we have to add to it.  I have to be ready to run a 5k by November so I have a lot more work to put it.  At the end of the day, this really is attainable folks!

I'm so excited

Day 38: Emotions at a peak

Track Date today was emotional and challenging.  The track is broken up into 4 sections and normally I walk three times completely around, jog one quarter, walk another quarter, jog one quarter and walk another quarter.  Yesterday we jogged two quarters, walked one then jogged another two quarters - of which we did a few times (I can't remember how many times).  So today we did something that we have never done.....we jogged 3 quarters around 4 times (I think 4 times, I can't remember because I was out of breath)!!  It was emotional because I did something today that I wasn't sure that I'd be able to do - like seriously.  Tiff asked me how I felt, but I couldn't articulate it at the time because there were so many feelings - joy, exhaustion, fear, proud, confusion,etc.

My speed did not break a record by any stretch of the imagination, but I didn't quit (which I wanted to do). I was silently asking myself, "Why am I doing this again, seriously Rochelle, what were you thinking??"  The emotional part was that Tiff and Kayla kept saying that I could do it.  If they believed that I could do it maybe I can?  There is a lady who runs and sprints on the track daily who I look at with great admiration.  She passed me today (which is not unusual) but while I was jogging she rubbed my arm as if to encourage me to keep going.

I have to come to terms with the fact that there are people who are supporting me in this journey (which blows my mind).  Tomorrow is the big day, a full time around the track, let's see how this goes.

Day 37: Mind over Matter

Mind over Matter huh??  Today during "Track Date" we jogged more than we ever have, or should I say we jogged more for a longer period of time than ever before.  The first time around (curve & straight) wasn't too bad.  The second & third time was a LOT harder, but the fourth time was like anything I've ever experienced.  But each time I didn't stop (although I thought about it).....I couldn't stop!  Partly because I think Tiffany would have kirked but them the other part because I had to push past the negative thoughts running through my mind.

While going around the track Tiff was like, "So that you can run better and faster, the goal is to loose 100lbs by next October which is more than a year from now.  It's less than 10lbs a month".  I looked at her like she was crazy!!  That's not a little bit of weight to loose.  Yeah I know that there are plenty of people who do it all of the time, but this is me we are talking about.  So then she goes on to say that I need to come up with 5 things that I want to do when I loose it.  Loose it, are you serious......are you really serious?  I have no clue of 5 things I'd like to be able to do.  I guess I need to think about it seriously because although weight loss comes with exercising everyday, it's not something that I really considered.

I know it's not just me, but there are so many emotions associated with weight.  Experiences and mind sets have help to propel where I'm at right now and this whole process of training for a marathon is causing me to examine and face those issues.  It sucks, but I guess necessary, right?

I have to keep telling myself that I can do this.  I can jog and push myself, I can deal with my issues and I can break the not good cycles in my life.  I can overcome by keep saying it.

Day 36: Where I stand

So not blogging consistently is not a pattern that I am going to engage in.  The last few days have been sort of hectic and tiring which is why I haven't really blogged.

I am entering Week 6 of training and I'm blown away.  I'm blown away because I've actually stuck with it. I'm blown away because I've been consistent (for the most part) with my exercise routine.  I'm blown away because I'm actually loosing weight.  I'm really blown away because I can actually jog!!  Seriously, who would have thought it?  Although it was a goal, I honestly didn't think that I would still be doing it at this point, but I am.

I want to stick with the 5 to Strive to goals
- Participate in some form of physical activity everyday (excluding Sunday)
- Complete three group classes at the gym
- Take my established vitamins everyday
- Stick to the meal plan
- NO eating after 12am, regardless of how late I get off work or how late I have to stay up doing homework


This week is going to be really about pushing through the tired feeling while working out.  Today I went to the gym and walked/jogged for 1.88 miles, then went to Body Pump and followed up with going 2.4 miles.    I actually enjoyed that walk/jog.  I'm going to bed now because I am extra tired/sleepy.  Oh, but by the way guess what??  I am very cute and I'm going to be an athlete!!

Day 32/33: Rough Week - more negative than positive!

Yesterday was the first day since I started working out that I did not blog.  When I got home to do it, I was just plum exhausted.  I didn't eat any dinner or do any homework.  Actually I dropped the ball on a lot of stuff yesterday.  I left early from graduation rehearsal, I went to the gym, but only did 2.5 miles, which is off from my personal minimum of 3 miles a day.  Also, I was supposed to be teaching a class but because I had to work, I couldn't go nor did I have the materials for them.  Lastly I was supposed to print and have ready 100 invitations for an event of which I had none ready.  So yesterday was a looser of a day, but I think part of that is because I had to take my family to the airport at 5:00am and I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before.  This morning I didn't/couldn't wake up so I missed Body Pump (super blown because my arms are feeling so good).  This week my eating has been HORRIBLE, I haven't taken any vitamins, my sleeping pattern has not been consistent and I have taken no classes at the gym.

After reading and re-reading the above a few times, I realize that it is full of a bunch of negatives.  What have been some positives from this week?  Hummmmm.........., would getting my new sports bra count?  Nahhhhhh, that doesn't count (although it really holds the girls in).  Hummmmmmm..................... yeah nothing.

It's hard not to compare your self to other people but I do it anyway (LOL).  I feel like I should be further along in this journey.  I've lost a total of 15lbs to date, but that doesn't seem like a big enough number for the amount of work that I've been putting in.  But on the flip side, if you don't eat right or get enough sleep, you can't loose weight, right? I gotta loose weight so that I can jog faster and longer, but there are things that you've gotta do in order to make that happen.

IDK.......I just want to be able to run around the track without hyperventilating

Day 31: Must Better Asthma!!

Work of Breathing

I had a appointment this afternoon with my Allergy & Asthma doctor and guess what............my asthma is "Tremendously Better".  Do you know how awesome that is?  I went in because I really struggle breathing while jogging.  I thought that my asthma would be worse, not better, but he did say that I have a condition called 'Work of Breathing'.  Before today I never heard of anything like that, but after doing a little reading,  I have a better idea of what the deal is.  Oh, the only real solution to 'Work of Breathing' is to loose weight.  What's happening is that there is too much weight on the top half of my body.  As a result, my lungs can not expand as much as they need to which diminished their ability to maintain their elasticity.  He also said that doing a marathon next year shouldn't be a problem but I have to do some stuff first

1.  I have to take my inhaler with me when I work out and take two puffs
2.  I have to measure my breathing before I work out and after I work out for the next week.  If it gets better then I will keep taking my inhaler before hand.
3.  If it doesn't improve, then I have to see a specialist and get a PF Test done.

I think that it will get better personally, but time will only tell, right?  The blower part of today is that I missed Body Pump and Body Step.  I did make it to the gym however.  I only did the treadmill for 35 minutes today.  I did use some weights since I missed my class.  I think that my body is tired, but ya gotta keep pressing, right?

Day 30: Mind over Matter

First off, let me say that I feel great!!  Wanna know why I feel great?  Because I got my hair done today.  The naps in my hair have really had a negative impact on my self image.  I know, why didn't I get it done sooner right??  Who knows because I certainly don't know.  My hair dresser said that I should be a shamed of myself.  There was so much new growth that the comb broke while she was trying to work in the relaxer.  As she was putting the finishing touches on my hair, she said "You don't have to look a wreck while training for your marathon, take pride in what you are doing and your appearance."  I don't know if she knew it, but she was really speaking to my heart because I haven't taken pride in my appearance in a while.

I had a track date this morning and did a total of 4.66 miles in an hour and 20 minutes.  I jogged for a little bit and walked the rest.  Today I started on the straight and on one, we didn't stop at the line.  The goal was to go to the next line, but I had a really hard time breathing.  Tiff said that I take shallow breaths instead of deep controlled breaths.  At first I didn't pay any attention to her statement, but while I was in the car, I really paid attention to my breathing and realized that I don't take deep breaths.  When I did, it took conscious thought to do it.  So great, is this another thing that I have to think about?  I'm just going to have to try it I guess.  While I was sitting in the shop under the dryer, I read in a magazine how a guy my same age ran a marathon after 10 months of training and he lost over 140lbs coming down from weighing over 300lbs.  It made me think to myself about where I am in the overall process of training and I'm a little concerned about my progress.

At the end of the day, I want to be able to run faster, longer and stronger, but I have to believe that I can. Mind over matter is the key, but the matter really get's to my mind (lol), ya know?

Day 29: New Shoes

More recently, over the past week or two, I've noticed that the way that I walk doesn't seem right. Like I'm not sure if my foot is landing correctly on the ground so I beginning to get a little concerned. I've had feet issues most of my life (ie., when I born I had to wear casts and braces because my fee were shaped funny, I've broken and fractured bones in my feet and leg, etc.) and my feet are big so shoes are a big deal to me. Yesterday I was in Annapolis leaving the The Paper Source and saw a Running Store called Charmed City Run - so I decided to go in. I just wanted to talk to someone (not really sure about what, but just wanted to talk) about the way my feet are landing and feel in my shoes.

The guy I spoke with was very nice and knowledgable. He did an evaluation of my feet and my walking pattern, which I've never had done before. My feet measured at a 13 in women's (nothing new), but a size 12 in men's, which is a little odd because normally there is a 2 size difference between men and women's shoes. He said that I am a pronator, meaning that my feet land on the ground but then roll in and without the proper support, I will develop shin splints and hip pain if I don't use the proper shoe. HIP PAIN, I have that sort of now. So we tried on four different types of shoes and with each pair I got on the treadmill so that he could see how I ran in the show.  I really like these shoes to because they don't look totally like boy shoes....what do you think?

It was a different experience. I'm so glad that I did it. I wore my new shoes tonight at the gym and I can totally tell a difference. Normally I walk/jog pigeontoed, but these shoes sort of forced my feet to remain straight. The guy said that it will take about a week to get used to so I'm going to give my feet time to adjust. I know that they are mad sore right now.

Night all!

Day 28: The Goal

This is week 5.......WEEK 5. I have been committed to training to run a full marathon next year for 5 weeks. I had a goal last week outside of the Five 2 Strive 2 to walk/jog for 17 miles, but I didn't make 17 miles, I got to 13.89 miles. I didn't eat well nor did I take my vitamins everyday or make my track dates (minus 1 day) either, but I did take 5 exercise classes.

I'm disappointed that I allowed the various issues from this week to dictate my exercise & food routine. I'm really disappointed in myself. But, i'm not stopping. I got fitted for running shoes today and I also purchased a new sports bra. I need something to help keep the girls in place. Hopefully these two things will make my running experience better.

Week 5's Goals (Five 2 Strive 2)
- Participate in some form of physical activity everyday (excluding Sunday)
- Complete three group classes at the gym
- Take my established vitamins everyday
- Stick to the meal plan
- NO eating after 12am, regardless of how late I get off work or how late I have to stay up doing homework

I'm not sure if I should keep the goal of doing 17 miles or if I should increase it to 20 miles, idk - I guess we shall see as the week goes. I need to come up for a name for what I do on the track. It's not all walking nor is it all jogging. Maybe when I walk more, I'll call it wag, but if I jog more than walk, I'll call it jaw (LOL). Ok, off to do homework.

Day 27: What's Changed

On Thursday Tiffany and I were talking while going around the track and she asked me, "We've been doing this for a month now, have you noticed any changes so far?"

After one solid month of working out, I can say, "Yes, I see progress!" For starters, I can walk a lot farther at a faster pace without huffing and puffing and being out of breath. Second, I can actually jog. I loose my breath after while, but I'm still working on that. Third, I'm starting to learn the exercise routines in the exercise classes that I take and I don't look like a complete moron. Then, I'm actually more mindful of the things that I eat because I don't want to mess up all of the hard work that I've put in at the gym or track. Finally, my body is starting to change! I wouldn't say that I'm slimming down, but I'd say that my muscles are building up. I FEEL muscle in my arms and legs and it's mad exciting. In the privacy of my car or room, I'm pressed to flex my arms or legs just to feel my muscles.

But most of all, you know what's changed......? Me. At the core of Rochelle Juanita Elizabeth Barnes, I've changed. My desires have changed to a degree. I actually want to work out and get pretty upset when I don't. I want to learn how to cook healthier foods that will compliment my exercise routine. I want to be as physically active as possible and not engage any longer in a sedentary lifestyle.

I still have a very long way to go, but I've changed.

Day 26: A Bunch of Nothingness

I did no physical activity today other than climbing the stairs at work (which doesn't count because it's only one flight and I did it only once). I'm borderline disappointed in myself. No, no, I'm actually pretty disappointed in myself. You know what I did this morning instead of going to the track or gym for Body Pump.............I slept! I kept changing the alarm clock time by an hour so that I wouldn't get up. I didn't go to work until late because I had to pick up Mama Dee from the airport, then I had a dentist appointment since I broke my tooth. The only thing that they can do is either pull it ($100) or give me another crown ($500). I'm opting for pulling it, but I don't want to be a "toothless snaggapuss in the back of my mouth girl". Needless to say, I was pretty disappointed with the options presented to me.

Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity for me to get my exercise in. In order for me to accomplish my goal of doing 17 miles this week, I have to do 7 miles in the morning. Unless I jog for a good period of time, that's going to take 2 full hours, but I don't have two hours to dedicate to it, I only have one hour since I want to do that and Body Attack before I go to work. Plus, since I've been watching my cousins for the past couple of days, I have to make sure that they are taken care of in the morning before I leave. Also, I have to get home at some point because we are having company at the house and my room is a MESS. Seriously, I don't know how to fit everything into the course of the day.

Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I won't go to attack, I'll just walk/jog and then go to the house to clean up and then off to work. Yeah, I think that that will work!!! Boy, I can't wait until the day that I am physically fit!

Day 25: Relationships

I did a "Two A Day" today!! I worked out this morning with a Track Date and then I went to the gym this evening and walked (pretty swiftly might I add) on the treadmill while I watched Avatar (totally a good movie that I want to watch next time sitting on someone's couch with my feet up)! I am so tired though. Not that I'm not trying to "speak life" or anything, but I am feeling weak inside. The funny thing about that statement is even though my body feels weak and tired, I continue to move and do stuff to grow stronger. Hey, I'm actually stronger both physically and mentally. I am seven miles shy of accomplishing the 17 mile goal for this week. Seriously, who would have thought that I would be up to walking 17miles in a week? You couldn't have told me that I would be doing this 3 months ago and I believe you. I have Friday and Saturday to get 7 miles in...I'm pretty sure that I'll get there.

The Track Date was really good because we just talked and I shared (like really shared)! It was sort of like a heart to heart moment that's healthy for the soul kind of thing. I enjoyed it because I don't do that often. Then the gym was good because I'm meeting new people since I'm going with more regularity. Now don't get me wrong, I meet new people all of the time because I'm a natural talker, but I'm engaging with people more. It's actually another level of accountability because they encourage you to come and work out or press through the tiredness/fatigue - IT'S GREAT!!

Day 24: I'm afraid

I took my little sister and nephew to see Karate Kid today. It was my second time seeing it and I still think that it is an absolutely fantastic movie. There are a lot of life applicable lessons that can be applied to our lives that are wrapped up in entertainment. The part that stuck out the most this time to me was when (sorry if I'm about to ruin the movie for someone) Dre was on the bed and Jackie Chan asked him why we wanted to go back out onto the floor to fight and he said something so profound. He said, "Because I don't want to be afraid anymore."

After he said that, I sat there and immediately thought about this marathon journey and realized that I'm secretly afraid. I'm afraid of actually caring about my physical appearance. I'm afraid of showcasing my sheer beauty (not said in a haughty tone). I'm afraid of being in shape and exercising on a regular basis. I'm afraid of not being able to accomplish the goal. But, if I allow fear to paralyze me - I WILL DIE. Fear comes to destroy and not give life.

In order to not be afraid anymore, I'm going to run towards that thing. I was afraid of writing papers because I would always fail, but now I'm in school writing them every week. If I fail, it's not because I didn't try. I'm going to keep working out and I'm going to keep pressing towards accomplishing the goal of running a marathon because not doing anything is a guaranteed failure. But if you try, your further along than when you initially started.

Day 23: IDK (I Don't Know)

IDK if this is such a good idea. Maybe my authority figures were right, maybe I shouldn't be training to run a marathon. Seriously am I setting myself up for failure? I was on the treadmill a little while ago and I was a quarter of a mile in and said, "This is for the birds, I finished" but you know what, I didn't stop. Even while I was walking, I was trying to talk myself out of walking or jogging, but it was crazy cause I didn't stop. I kept going until the gym closed and got in a total of 3.5 miles. I didn't jog that much, but that's not the point. The point is that I didn't give up and I didn't quit even when I wanted to!

I weighed myself today and guess what, I'm 16lbs down. I still have a long way to go though.

Day 22: Sorta Sad

I don't feel like blogging today, but just have too. We didn't go to the track this morning so I really got to sleep in, which was really great to my body. I didn't do much, but I did take Body Pump and Body Step this evening. I was able to take less breaks in Body Pump, so that's really good. I guess I'm getting better at it. Body Step is going to take some getting use to because there are so many steps that you have to learn. Otherwise, it was pretty good.

I think that I have too much on my mind right now. That's probably why I don't feel like talking. IDK. I'm going to bed now, good night!

Day 21: The Goal

This is week 4.......WEEK 4. I have been committed to training to run a full marathon next year for 4 weeks. Do you know how amazing that is? They say that in order to establish new habits, you have to do something for a solid 3 weeks AND I'VE DONE IT!!! I made the 3 week marker. One of my goals last week was to walk/jog 15 miles and I did 16.64. It was mostly walking because it was just so hot this past week, but none the less, I still pushed it. I didn't take vitamins at all, which is why I've probably been so tired. So that it one that I am really going to focus on this week. Today I didn't eat well, but that's mainly because I didn't pack my lunch. I do way better when I pack my lunch verses not. I'm still really excited though. So it's goal time for this coming week, I've thought about it and my plan is listed below.

Week 4's Goals (Five 2 Strive 2)
- Participate in some form of physical activity everyday (excluding Sunday)
- Complete three group classes at the gym
- Take my established vitamins everyday
- Stick to the meal plan
- NO eating after 12am, regardless of how late I get off work or how late I have to stay up doing homework

Also, I want to do 17 miles this coming week with jogging more incorporated in that number. Also, I want to muster up the courage to take a spin class. I'm finding that it's good to talk about what I'm doing, but sometimes I get the womp womp look. It's weird because non-runners are the most encouraging people. The runners take a look and give you the "It's really hard and most in shape people can't run a marathon" or "You sure you really want to do that". I think it's kind of funny now. Off to do homework.

Day 20: Just Thinking

While I was on the treadmill this evening I started thinking to myself, "You jogged for less than a minute and your winded, is this realistic?" I probably spent another 10 minutes dialoging with myself on the reality of this goal. Like at what point will I be able to run for any length of time without getting winded and when will I have the ability to maintain my breathing? I sort of got frustrated with myself because I thought that I should be further along than I currently am. I'm giving it everything that I've got while working out and I'm totally mindful of the things that I eat. I could do better with the eating part, but still, I want/feel the need to do more. I don't know what more is though. I guess I'll keep thinking about it.

Even though this week can probably be labeled as the week from Satan's home, I'm sort of proud that I did something physical every day. But you know what, I'm tired. My body is tired, my mind is tired everything is just tired. I'm grateful that I don't have to do anything tomorrow, but because my work day will be so intense, I won't have to work out in order to burn calories.

Day 19: Video Blog

So today I tried something really different. I video'd my blog. What do you think? Seriously, let me know because I'm pretty excited about it. It's something different to do, ya know? Right now I need a nap however there is no time for that.

Day 18: Fat vs. Muscle

Yeah, the number that is on the scale has not gone down much, but I can tell that my body is changing. I was able to wear an outfit yesterday that I have not worn in 2 years. That was such an exciting moment. My walk is different too. I walk with a little more confidence, a little more of a pep in my step. I feel the muscles in my legs and arms flex when I walk and it makes me feel stronger.

Muscle weighs more than fat, but I need to get rid of a lot more fat to see that my hard work and efforts are making a difference. But that's the thing, even if I don't loose weight, just accomplishing the goal of running a marathon would be amazing. No, that's not the truth - I would be disappointed if I didn't loose weight. I had a conversation with my nephew this afternoon and he said,

"I thought that you were going to get married Auntie Shell?"

I told him, "I am one day."

He said, "But, no offense, your not skinny."

So I said, "So because I'm not skinny, does that mean that no one will want to marry me?"

He said, "Well........."

His honesty only confirmed some of the not good thoughts that I've allowed to run around in my mind and heart. I don't know.. I have to come to terms with my body image regardless of anyone else's perception (which is hard).

Day 17: Me Time

My knee feels much better and my achilles tendon is way better than it was yesterday. I'm choosing to keep walking and keep stretching. The pain level is maybe a 2, but I can't allow that to be an excuse as to why I don't do something physical. I missed my morning "Track Date" today and ya know, that's getting hard to do. My body has adjusted and mentally I really like that time. I like spending time with my friend (or friends when other people come).

Wednesday's are my day off, but because there is a major conference going on at work, I had to go in and needed to get a lot done before the actual conference began. I also had to pick up my nephew from summer camp and I had to figure out how I was going to get to the gym since I missed my "Track Date". Like normal, I get really amped up and stressed out when I have a number of things that need to be done. But I did something different today - I took some "ME" time by going to the gym and working out before I did anything else. I put my needs before everyone else's and guess what.........I didn't feel bad about it one bit!!

I did a 5k in 58 minutes with only walking. Imagine how I must faster I could do a 5k if I jog too. I'm going to try on Friday or Saturday.

Day 16: I have an achilles tendon, who knew?

Who knew that I even had an achilles tendon. Of course we all have one, but I never felt mine (I don't think). You hear about athletes tearing or hurting their achilles tendon, but I'm no athlete!! I barely jog, so the idea that I would hurt mine is something that I never considered. I could have hurt it because I was overcompensating due to the pain in my knee or because I have not been stretching properly before or after my workouts, but we had to stop today so that I could stretch it. I am beyond grateful to God that Tiffany comes with me every morning and tells me stuff I wouldn't know about. That pain was something that I have never felt in my foot region. I wanted to stop and go home, but she said no, you've got to stretch it out and you know what - that actually worked!! The pain was not as intense but I found that walking it out made it not hurt as much. I may go to the gym again this evening to try walking it out some more.

Yesterday I was having a great conversation with a few ladies outside of the gym and I came to a realization. God knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it. I've been praying for a "do over" with my life because I feel like I've totally messed it up and wasted a lot of "potential". I needed a do over in my finances, education, physical body image of myself, spiritually, mental mind set.....just an overall do over of my life. But that is not possible, right? Wrong! Each day is a new day to start new. It's like a repetitive do over. And you know what, I'm getting that opportunity today. Today is a new day. It's a new day to be financially responsible. It's a new day to engage with furthering my educational dreams and goals. It's a new day to do something about my body image regardless of how painful that process may be. It's a new day to reconnect with God in a personal and real way. It's a new day to CHANGE MY MIND! Change my mind from faulty information, faulty self-image, faulty thinking as a whole.

IT'S A NEW DAY TO CHANGE MY MIND and I'm grateful for the people who walk along side me through the new day and new mind.

Day 15: My knee

This morning was technically supposed to be a break because of the holiday. I even went as far as not setting my alarm clock but oh no my eyes popped up at 6:15am and I couldn't go back to sleep. I tried to make myself go back to sleep (which I can usually do), but not today. I got up and engaged in a Track Date anyway. To my surprise and shock, there were a boat load of people at the track! Like a lot of people. It was almost too crowded to do anything, but I got out there and gave it a good effort. I even jogged twice, but then I was done. It was hot and I was tired, but because I knew that I was going to Body Pump, I didn't over stress how much I actually did (which was 1.27 miles).

Body Pump, Body Pump, oh dear Body Pump!

I hurt my knee in the middle of Body Pump. Like I really hurt it, but not sure how. I heard something and then there was this intense pain. I wanted to cry, but because I was in a class with people who I didn't know I had to pretend that everything was ok, but it wasn't! I limited the amount of leg exercise after that because it hurt. After the class was over, I felt like I still needed to get the rest of my milage in, so I got on the treadmill (hoping to walk off the pain in my knee). The treadmill was pretty good. I did 3.57miles with lightly jogging through 2 complete songs - which was totally awesome!

So now I sit here with a hurt knee and a boat load of homework to do. I have more to say, but I want to save it as I work through my thoughts.

Day 14: The Goal

We are at week 3 of solidly training to run a marathon next year. I've pondered and pondered and I think that I've come up with some tangible goals for this week. They are mainly the same, but I want to restate/reaffirm what they are.

Week 3's Goals:
- Participate in some form of physical activity everyday (excluding my day of rest - Sunday) by walking and incorporating jogging and weight training into my routines.
- Complete three group classes at the gym (Body Pump, Body Attack and something else)
- Vitamins: take my established necessary vitamins every morning with my breakfast
- Stick to my eating plan
- NO eating after 12am, regardless of how late I get off work or how late I have to stay up doing homework

I think that the above will be my established week to week goals called Five 2 Strive 2 (that actually has a pretty catchy ring to it). Regarding my work out this week I'd like to set a goal of walking/running a total of 15 miles. Going over that is fine, but I'd like to at least get to that number. Also, I'd like to be able to jog in 3 minute increments (walk however many minutes, jog 3 minutes, walk however many minutes, jog 3 minutes, etc.). I don't know if 3 minutes is realistic, although it seems like it is; it will have to be tested out tomorrow morning at 6:00am.

Day 13: I'm doing this!

Ya know what.........I really don't care what anyone says at this point, I've reached the point of no return. I'm doing this! It's really as simple as that. Ok, so what I'm only two weeks into the training, I'm a year into the mind training. Anytime you decide to make a change in your life, there has to be a transformation in your mind first. It's kindof how God does things too. There is an inward transformation that takes place with your heart and mind before most people see the manifestation of that change.

Today I went to Body Attack again. Yo, the instructor was hysterical!! Her facial expressions had me hollering, but the intensity of the workout was amazing. I had to keep taking breaks, but I'm sure that it's going to get better and better as I do it more and more. Oh, another big aspect to that class REQUIRES coordination, of which is an area that I'm really challenged in. It doesn't matter though, all of the instructors have been very patient and understand and that makes you want to keep trying. After Body Attack I got on the treadmill and did a little over a mile. I didn't jog as far because my body was done for the day. Actually I probably could have pushed myself a little bit more, but I had to get back to work, so that I was the driving force to hurry up.

All day I've been thinking about the goals that I am going to establish for myself for this coming week. I'm not completely sure on everything, but I feel this urgency to push through. I've been thinking about my breathing and my stride and how I can improve them. I guess that happens naturally over time so I'll be patient and give myself time.

Day 12: It's the Food

I'm slowly realizing that it's not the exercising that's the problem (yeah it's challenging however) it's the food! What to eat, what not to eat, how much of it to eat, when to eat it, what's the dietary/nutritional information, etc. It's so much to think about that it makes me not want to eat anything - yeah right, that's not going to happen.

It is frustrating though. I want to do the right thing, but right now I'm sort of confused and lost. I'm settling into an exercise routine/pattern which is really good. I just want to feel more comfortable with making food selections. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry cause I don't get it. I know that I can't throw my hands up in the air and say forget it all because I'm frustrated (although that's what I want to do) cause that doesn't solve anything. I don't know, I just don't!

I'm going to go cry now.

Day 11: Gym Jog

It was good not to have my track date this morning because I was TIRED, but I actually really missed it. Maybe I like the routine, maybe I like the challenge, maybe I like the company....whatever it is, I'm enjoying this journey. Don't get me wrong, I'm not excited while I'm engaged in the excerise, but before and afterwards it's great.

Even though I didn't go to the track, I did go the gym tonight. I didn't walk/jog any further than I've done already, however I did jog more. Jogging on the treadmill is completely different than jogging on the track. I was able to jog .25 miles at one time. That's like going completely around the track one full times.

I'm AMAZED.