Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Day 291: BIG CHOP Doom

I'm about to do something super scarey....... in less than 24 hours I will be cutting off all of my permed hair.  Now why in the world am I so scared to do something that I am so determined to do at the same time?  Crazy right?  Oh well, tomorrow the world shall see (and me too, huh)?

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Day 283: "What Got Me To This Place?"

At the beginning of this journey my friend asked me, "So what got you to this place?"  That was a very direct question that I honestly was not ready to answer at the time.  It has been on my mind at lot lately though.  Answering that question requires me to take a very intense look at why I do what I do.  Am I addicted to food?  I've heard a lot of overweight/obese people say that they are, but I don't think that I am.  I do think that I have an unhealthy relationship with food though. 

stress, joy, tiredness, confusion, celebration, etc.

The list goes on and on of reasons why food has become the main attraction or the tool I use to cope with  the various events in my life.  Unlike drugs or other indulgences, food is something that I've gotta have.... crap, I gotta eat right! 

So how does the relationship change?  How do I go from an unhealthy relationship with food to one that is healthy and balanced?  I think the first step is deciding.  Make a choice to change.  Then, commit my ways/desires to the Lord.  Then (and this is the hard part), I've gotta share my decision with other people.  In sharing with others it creates accountability; of which we all know that I don't like, but totally necessary.  You know what else is necessary?  Education.  If I don't know what healthy is, how can I engage in it? 

Even if my food selections change, I've still got to change the "why" behind why I resort to food.  I have to think about that some more.  Anybody have any suggestions?

Monday, April 4, 2011

Day 282: The Subtle Sabotage

Sabotage is defined as the deliberate destruction; damaging actions; an action taken to undermine or destroy somebody's efforts or achievements.  I have been sabotaged!  Wanna know by who?

ME - Rochelle Juanita Barnes

I have come to the realization that I have sabotaged my own efforts over the past few weeks and months.  Yeah, I've been making some positive strides by exercising and watching what I eat, but something bigger than those two things dictate either our success or failure.  Wanna know what is the big determining factor in how successful we are in anything we do?  It's our thought life!  How we think about a matter trumps all feeling and truth.  I have dreaded going to boot camp because in my mind I look like the fat fatty who can't keep up with everyone else.  There haven't been any early morning Track Dates because I hate looking like the big engine that couldn't.  So these thoughts have controlled my actions.  Instead of working out in the morning, I stay sleep and wonder why I can't get up ontime for anything or instead of leaving work on time, I stay late so that I can't workout because the gym is closed.

How do you change your thoughts?  By doing just that, change them.  We have a choice in what we believe and embrace as truth. 

Current Thought: I am still a fat fatty    
Renewed Thought: Everyone has to start somewhere.  Start and keep starting

Current Thought: I have to modify every exercise so that I can do it
Renewed Thought: Modified or not, I'm still exercising.  Keep modifing until it's not necessary

Along with our thought life, fear plays a HUGH role in how successful we are.  Fear of doing well (or success) keeps me where I am and aids in me never achieving an attainable goal.  I'm grateful because I have hope.  My hope isn't in what I have the ability to do on my own, but my hope rests on the fact that through Christ I have the ability to do whatever is necessary to change the scope of my physical fitness.  With a renewed focus on each day, today I know that I have the ability to succeed at this marathon journey.