Midterm Grades are in!

Midterm (progress report) grades are in.  I have 3 A's (Composition, Spirit Empowered Living and Whole Person Assessment), 1 B (Beginning Sign Language) and 3 C's (Elementary Hebrew, Health and Christian Worldview & Culture).

The A's
I'm gonna have to work really hard to maintain these grades.  In composition, there are three more major assignments that could really impact this grade.  In Spirit Empowered Living, I have to nail the next two papers.  Whole Person Assessment is a class that we all have to take but does not count towards our GPA, but it does impact my scholarship.  All of my assignments have been submitted so this will remain as is.

The B
This is a solid B.  I've submitted everything and worked hard.  The kicker...tests.  I've gotten B's on the test so it's impacted my overall grade.  I'll keep practicing and studying and hopefully keep progressing.

The C's
I just had a conversation with my Hebrew professor regarding my understanding of Hebrew.  I get it but don't.  I study, I have a tutor, I make flash cards, but the content in not sticking yet.  She said that it will come, but my issue is I don't want it to come after grades have been submitted (lol)!  The only grades we have in health are the midterm and the labs.  I haven't really done any of the labs because I don't have the book yet so I understand that grade, just not sure how to change it just yet.  I will have a conversation with my professor tomorrow though when I go to class.  Finally, Christian Worldview & Culture is a C now, but won't remain a C.  On my midterm I got a 65 out of 135 and my Professor said that I can submit the additional sections that I hadn't submitted which will take my grade up completely.

I know that worrying is counter productive and contrary to what the Lord wants us to do, but knowing my grades has me a little worried.  I need to maintain the A's, improve the B and raise the C's.  The challenging C?  Hebrew cause I don't know what else to do.

MTT in full Effect!!

Last night was long and this morning came really early.  As a result, I'd like to officially label today as, "MTT" or MidTerm Thursday.  This is what I had today on my plate today:

Health/Fitness - MidTerm
Beginning Sign Language - MidTerm
Spirit Empowered Living - MidTerm & Paper (response to the chosen optional reading book)
Hebrew - MidTerm and Presentation
English - Paper (analysis to Eugene Peterson's Pastors & Novels)

How did I do, your wondering?  I think that I did well on everything.  Wait, I take that back, I didn't do well on my Hebrew exam.  I have to really practice and study the vocabulary.  I can read the words, I just have no idea what they mean (that's kinda important in understanding any language, right?).  My papers were good and my teacher said that I did really well on my presentation.  There is always areas that we can improve, but I am really proud of my work.

Heart for Missions

I love people.  More than just loving people, I love talking to people.  Life for me is having the ability to talk and share concepts that roll around my head and hear things that other people may be thinking about.  I love it!  It's in communicating that we grow and understand various topics better.

This week the list for all of the school sponsored Missions Trips was distributed.  I am so excited about it because we are all called to go and make disciples and it gives me the opportunity to TALK!!  There are one week trips during Spring Break and four week trips during Summer Break.  The choices are pretty exhaustive giving us the opportunity to build, speak, plan, play, etc.

During Spring Break, there is a trip to Sacramento, CA that I'm really interested in.  It's for women only where we connect with other women who have struggled with various forms of abuse and neglect.  I am no one's healer, but I do have a relationship someone who has the ability to heal every wound and hurt that may has been experienced in life.

During Summer Break, I'm torn between Tokyo, Japan and Johannesburg, South Africa for missions.  I really think that it will be Tokyo, Japan though.  Another option on the floor  is I have the opportunity to go to Jerusalem for three weeks for a Historical & Geological Studies of Christ class.

Regardless of the chosen trip, they each require support (financial and emotional).  I know that the money will come because I have a heart for missions.

Now I'm mad!!

In the matter of 15 minutes, I think that I just had the most racially/physically discriminating conversation that I've ever had in my life. Context: Because of my learning challenge, I receive extra time on all tests and I have the option to take tests in quiet room to avoid distractions that are inevitable within the classroom.  My HPE (Health/Fitness) midterm is this Thursday and I needed to submit some paperwork to my professor so that my test is taken to the appropriate location.  He was not in, but I gave the form to his assistant who felt the need to chat me up and "share" a few thoughts with me.

"You people have great aging genes" - this is actually complementary, but it was the "you people" that rubbed me the wrong way.

"You know, if your more than 10lbs overweight, your a candidate for diabetes.  Who in your family has it?" - ummm, really?

"Your ankles and knees have to hurt" - my ankles and knees don't have to hurt because I'm overweight.

"There is no way that you can pass the field test because of your size" - lady, you don't know who you are talking too, my name is Rochelle Juanita Elizabeth Barnes and when I put my mind to something, no one can stop me

"Once you loose 20-30lbs, you'll be so proud of yourself and everyone will say you look so good!" - honestly, I'm not sure how to respond to that one...

There was more said that will just stay there in the office.  Part of me wants to say, "ohh, it doesn't matter!" but that would be lying because it does matter.  Assumptions about a person are made on the physical exterior of a person.  Before a word is uttered, we've been sized up and judged.  How large or small we are, how our clothes look on us, our style, our hair...all of those things are used to decide who we are but consider taking time to know a person minus what they look like.  Here there are tall people, short people, skinny people, fat people, deaf people, blind people, dancers, writers, musicians, theologians, thinkers, talkers......we all are different and unique.  Embrace it.  Yeah, I may never be a size 10 or I may never be a confident writer, but I can be the best Rochelle that God created.

Not winning my battle :(

Fear.  It's my arch nemesis.  The same way kryptonite paralyzes SuperMan, fear seems to paralyze me. I may experience victory over it in one area, but if I'm not careful (or aware) it tries to grip me in another area.  I would almost call fear a driver.  It drives the decisions and choices I make.  It turns me left, right or even stops me from moving all together.  There have been times in my life where I clearly saw fear operating, wanted to do something about it, but didn't.  

Today I'm really struggling.  Really!  I'm fighting because I don't want to give in to the control that fear has had over my life.  If you've ever fought, physically or spiritually, you know the battle can be intense and can be won or lost in moments.  I'm not winning right now, but don't count me out cause the fight isn't over.