Put to the Test

For some, test invoke a feeling of pride as it is an opportunity to showcase what they've learned.  Fear, another emotion sparked by tests, rise up because of the need to prove oneself better than some may assume.  Christian or not, everyone will experience a test; whether in an academic environment or personal life situation, tests can not be avoided.

My finals started early this morning and conclude Wednesday afternoon.  Hebrew, the class I'm doing the worst in grade wise, lead the pack and I must say that I did pretty ok.  Either I pass or I failed.  I'm sorta indifferent because my understanding of the language and culture has increase immensely since starting the class.  I struggled, however, from the moment I cracked the seal on the book.  But I'm proud of Rochelle because a resolve developed through the struggle - finish without giving up.  I cried because I couldn't read or understand a word.  I cried because I failed tests and quizzes.  I cried because I questioned my aptitude to learn another language.  I cried just because I felt like it and that is ok.  It's ok to cry, but what you do after you finish speaks volumes about ones resolve.  This evening I completed my Spirit Empowered Living final and received an 89.18% on it (taken via web).  This class was really interesting as it challenged me to think about what I believe about scripture and how the Spirit of God functions through me.  What greatly challenged me was writing the three major papers - 2 book reports and 1 research paper (received  A's on all three).

Tomorrow I have my ASL and Comp 102 final.  ASL (American Sign Language) has been a joy because it is sharpening my skills to communicate with a group of people who love communicating with people who are willing to learn their language.  The two things that have bothered me the most with this class is the idea that over 90% of the deaf community goes un-evangelized due to the language barrier: second, that deaf children are apart of families who refuse to learn how to sign which means there is very little meaningful communication taken place in the home.  I couldn't image what my life would be like had my father not taken the time to understand how I learn and process so that he could then help me better understand things. Then in the afternoon is my Composition final.  Over my collegiate tenure I have failed multiple composition classes because of my struggle with taking information and structuring it in a cohesive manner while following grammatical rules.  Speaking has NEVER been a problem for me, but writing out my thoughts and opinion has been like cryptonite.  Not only have I failed classes over writing, I have disobeyed God on a number of things because I knew it required me to write.  BUT, I have written every paper in this class.  It may not have been on time or as well written as my classmates but I didn't allow fear or angnst to keep me from submitting something.  My professor has been enormously patient with me by taking an hour of her time every week to go over information until I get it.  I've learn how to cite others work and how to write an effective essay whether it be a narrative, analysis, evaluation, synthesis or research paper.  I get it and that's the great thing about learning, once you "get it" no one can take that away from you.

Wednesday I have to submit a paper for my Christian Worldview & Culture class discussing various Worldviews.  The book we are to use makes no sense and I'm pretty frustrated, but I have to turn in something!  Do you know that once I submit that paper, I would have turned in every paper that has been assigned to me this semester?  I HAVE NEVER EVER EVER EVER done that, EVER!!  In order to maintain my scholarships I have to receive a 3.0gpa or higher.  I don't know if my GPA will be that high, but here's what I do know...when we are tested, we can either pass the test or fail the test.  Passing the test does not always mean you've mastered the concepts, it means you've tested well.  While failing the test does not always mean you have not mastered the concepts, it could just mean that you don't test well.

Some concepts I've mastered and passed the test while others I'll have to repeat.  Either way, my pride is in what Paul says to the church at Philippi, "being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work you [Rochelle] will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6).