What is Faith??

Today I had my Interview & Assessment at Oral Roberts University for their Whole Person Scholarship.  The Whole Person Scholarship is a scholarship offered to new and transfer students for $20,000 which covers tuition costs and additional fees and is renewable annually.  The purpose of the scholarship is to recognize students who model the "Whole Person Concept" - spiritually, emotionally & physically.  The recipients for Fall 2012/Spring 2013 had already been determined, but additional money became available at the end of May for two additional Whole Person Scholarships to be made available, specifically to transfer students.  The additional scholarships being added is great for me because it is a way of financing school; also, it confirmed for me what I knew God spoke.

This morning I got up early and did something that was pretty odd.  I washed my feet.  Don't get me wrong, I wash them, but I had this burning desire to make sure they were clean and moisturized.  Anyone who knows me knows that ash and Rochelle go hand in hand on most days (not good, but it just is).  Driving to campus and riding around was beyond surreal.  I've been dreaming about this place for years questioning- what would it be like, how would I fit in with the culture, do I have what it takes to not just attend but thrive and succeed - and to actually be there... speechless.

We were put into groups and interacted with students who are already recipients of the scholarship.  Then we had a writing assessment.  When they said writing, I looked calm on the outside, but inside I froze.  Writing is like my cryptonite and I try to avoid it like the plague.  But, I had to do it.  We were given a blue book (a booklet with a blue cover and pages inside) and a pen to answer nine questions within an hour timespan. While instructions were being given, I could only pray.  I prayed that the Lord would give me the words to use, that I wouldn't leave words out of my writing (when I write, my thoughts are going so swiftly that although I have a complete thought in my mind, what's in my mind is not always reflected in my writing) and that my spelling would be comprehendible to the reader.  When it was time to start, I actually started with number 8 and worked my way up.  This part may seem weird to some, but every time I got stuck and wanted to put my head down, I literally heard the words to write down.  It kindof weirded me out at first, but then recognized that it was the Lord honoring the prayer that I prayed only moments prior...that He would give me the words to use.  It blows my mind that God is so faithful to me, like really blows my mind!

Then it was the interview.  I met with one of the professors in the history/government department.  She was a really sweet lady.  She started the conversation and I ran with it.  I shared my story - the why behind why I wanted to attend ORU.  We talked about community/support and the need for it.  We talked about how God speaks to His people and our responsibility when He does speak.  It was honestly a great conversation.  At one point I stopped talking and asked her if I was talking too much.  She laughed and said that statement reminded her of one of her favorite students.  We talked for so long that they had to come get me because we ran over time.  We then met with advisors, payed enrollment fees and went on our marry way.

I left campus today feeling defeated and settled.  Those seem contradictory, right? I know, that's what I thought to.  I felt settled, because I know that's where I'm supposed to be.  Like no question whatsoever.  I felt defeated (maybe that's not the best word to use) because all I can do is wait, like I wasn't able to solidify anything - housing, financial aid, work, the overall transition.  If you've had to wait for anything, you know that waiting is harder than accomplishing a difficult task.

But, that's faith!  It's being confident in the God of the universe and His ability to orchestrate the circumstances of our life in the best interest of "us".  You can't have faith regarding a matter and doubt God's ability at the same time.  If you doubt that God has the ability to do something, then you don't have faith.  As a matter of fact, in Hebrews chapter 11, verse 6 says that without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.  I know God is going to do some supernatural things through my obedience.  The housing and multiple financial aspects of this journey have already been worked out.  I just have to WAIT while enjoying the ride.

By July 16th I will find out how I did today.  Even if I didn't do well, I know three things - God spoke, I've been accepted and I'm going!