Is it Pride?

Over the past few days, the idea or word "pride" has rolled around my head the same way clean clothes uncontrollably roll around in a hot dryer.  What is pride?  How is it demonstrated?  What's the opposite of pride?  Is pride rooted in my heart?  Can I be permanently free from pride or is it something I will potentially struggle with for the rest of my life?  The questions go on and on as I ponder the word.  

Wait...pride isn't all bad, it can't be.  I've been thinking of it from a negative aspect, but that's not healthy.  I had a paper due today and after some help, I submitted a really good paper that I'm proud of.  It's the achievement of continuing to conquer my fear with the help of the Holy Sprit that I'm proud of and that's not bad.  Maybe God and my community are proud of me - who knows.  That's the positive perspective.  But pride can be negative.  Pride keeps us from acknowledging our need for help.  Help spiritually in needing a Savior to redeem us.  Help naturally with the ups and downs of life.  After thinking about it more, I can see how pride can be displayed spiritually, naturally, physically, emotionally, etc.  In every area of our life we can walk in pride.  My pride has really kept me from asking for help.  I don't wanna appear needy or dependent so rather than ask, I keep my mouth shut because I can handle this by myself.  I just said to myself, "Well that's stupid Rochelle!"  

None of us can operate in this life alone, that's why we develop relationships - to support and be supported.  If all we do is support, then that's not beneficial, it's harmful.  If all we do is look to get, then that's not advantageous either because others miss out on receiving our gifts and talents.  I have to repent because I haven't done a good job of balancing pride and humility.  

I can have as much faith as I want to have, but silently griping certain lies can kill me.