Friday, July 9, 2010

Day 18: Fat vs. Muscle

Yeah, the number that is on the scale has not gone down much, but I can tell that my body is changing. I was able to wear an outfit yesterday that I have not worn in 2 years. That was such an exciting moment. My walk is different too. I walk with a little more confidence, a little more of a pep in my step. I feel the muscles in my legs and arms flex when I walk and it makes me feel stronger.

Muscle weighs more than fat, but I need to get rid of a lot more fat to see that my hard work and efforts are making a difference. But that's the thing, even if I don't loose weight, just accomplishing the goal of running a marathon would be amazing. No, that's not the truth - I would be disappointed if I didn't loose weight. I had a conversation with my nephew this afternoon and he said,

"I thought that you were going to get married Auntie Shell?"

I told him, "I am one day."

He said, "But, no offense, your not skinny."

So I said, "So because I'm not skinny, does that mean that no one will want to marry me?"

He said, "Well........."

His honesty only confirmed some of the not good thoughts that I've allowed to run around in my mind and heart. I don't know.. I have to come to terms with my body image regardless of anyone else's perception (which is hard).

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