Day 71: Last Day of August

I did absolutely NOTHING today, NOTHING and you know what, I don't feel bad about it.  Wanna know why?  Because tomorrow is September first..........do you know what that means??  It means going hard without excuses.  It means working harder than I ever have even when I don't want too.  Ironically I'm not worried or afraid, I'm really looking forward to it.  I think it will be good for me to continue challenging myself to do things that I thought were impossible.

We'll see how tomorrow goes, but right now I'm about to do some homework.

Day 70: Why Stretch?

Track Date and Body Flow today.  I am going to commit to stretching before and after each Track Date because this morning my hips were on fire. I also need to come up with an alternative to running outside since the seasons are about to change and my allergies are horrible in the spring and fall.  I couldn't run one complete lap this morning, let alone a mile.  My guess the "why"is because they were cutting grass outside which sucks for me.  Mentally I was very hard on myself because I felt disappointed that I was not able to continue increasing the number of laps/miles that I'm able to complete.

But hey, this is all a process that has good days and bad days.  Today was both of those because although Track Date wasn't great, Body Flow was.  Actually the experience this time was 100% better experience. The teacher was very good as she explained every move/pose.  It was just good.

Day 67/68/69: Week 11

I have been working more, going out more and getting home later (too late to blog).  So I don't have any entries for the last few days and that's probably a good thing since my eating has been AWFUL with a capitol "A" and my exercising has been nothing to write home about either.  But that's ok because although today is a new day, so is tomorrow.  I feel bad, but not bad enough to beat myself up over my poor choices.

Week 11 huh?  I have to stop, do inventory and ask myself, "So Shelly, how do you feel about everything?"  My response even has me thrown for an unexpected loop because I'd have to say,  "I feel great!  Yeah some days are hard and frustrating, I'm still committed and excited that I haven't quit".

As a matter of fact, after much thought and consideration I've decided that I'm not coming back to this place ever again and I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it either!  I'm at a point where new clothes are just about necessary, but I've been afraid of purchasing new clothes with the thought or idea that this change may not last.  But, no more!  So, as my clothes become too big to still be somewhat presentable, I'm going to pack them up and give them away!  Ohhhh, such a big step........but totally a necessary step.

The beginning of September is during week 11.  September is the start of a new eating plan: no sweets, minimum carbs, very little salt and 1.5 gallons of water daily.  I realize that my body responds better without a lot of sugar, carbs and salt and I feel better when I get the water in.  I'm doing this because at the end of the month I need to be able to run a 13 minute mile and be able to jog 4 miles in under an hour.  Also, by the end of the month I'd like to be able to do 45 hills within 45 minutes.  Part of me things that I am setting myself up, but without goals you automatically fail right???  Here is an even bolder statement - by the end of the month I WILL weigh under 300lbs (actually I don't know how bold that is considering I'm not that far off from that).  Hey, I gotta go hard cause I'm not ready to do home.

You don't have to believe the above, just WATCH and SEE!

Day 66: Breathing Troubles

Every form of exercise today was madd HARD and instead of #goinghard, I #wenthome!  I got up on time to do to Track Date.  I got there and started, but for some reason I couldn't breath at all.  My breathing was like when I first started.  On one of the laps I felt my esophagus begin closing.  At that point I started thinking and was trying to figure out what was going on.  I realized that it was the freshly cut grass!  I'm allergic to grass and apparently the power of it this morning tried to overtake me.  But I decided that I like the idea of breathing so I got in my car and came home.  Then this evening I went to run hills.  Instead of running 30, I did 15 hills.  I had the same thing where I couldn't breath.

What in the world is going on with my breathing.  I feel like I was finally getting to a place where breathing was not an issue, I hope I'm not regressing!

Day 65: Hurt my Hamstring

I am so excited but I probably shouldn't be.  Today I overslept and missed Track Date, but when I did get up I got dressed and went over to the track.  Unfortunately they were cutting the grass and I couldn't stay because I'm allergic to freshly cut grass.  I went to the Gym and just sat in the car for a few minutes debating if I was going to go.  But I got myself together and walked in.  I was still feeling pretty defeated about the whole weight gain thing, but I headed to the treadmill to get it in.  I walked a half mile and then started jogging.  I wanted to jog 2 full miles non-stop, but while I was at 2.25 miles in, something happened.  Right below my left butt cheek but above my knee on the back side started hurting like I pulled something.  I asked and found out what it was, it was my HAMSTRING.  I hurt my HAMSTRING!!!  Like seriously that is an athlete injury that serious athletes' get.  Yeah, it didn't feel great because I started limping and couldn't jog anymore, but it's great to know that I've got athlete types of injuries.

By the way, I re-weighed myself and I was back at my previous weight, so the gain must have been a fluke.  Tomorrow is Track Date and Hills all the way.  At Track Date I'm getting in 2 miles jogging but a total of 4 miles and I am going to do at least 25 hills.

You know, I'm really starting to like this new life of exercise and better food choices.  This is my new life and I refuse to engage in a sedentary lifestyle like before ever again.

Day 64: WHAT!!!

I'm pretty upset right now actually.  This evening I just had to weigh myself because I "feel" heavier & the scale said that I've gained 6 pounds since last week.

WHAT!!  

This past weekend my eating was completely off, but was it enough to gain 6 pounds?  I guess so!  Yeah I know that 6 pounds really isn't that much, but I was only 3 pounds away from being 40 pounds down from when I initially started this journey.  But now I am 9 pounds away from accomplishing my goal for the month of August.  I'm trying not to beat myself up too much about it because weight goes up and down based on muscle or water retention, but I don't want to get into a regression posture.  So, tomorrow morning at "Track Date" I have to push myself harder and further than I ever have.  I want to do the 2 miles non stop tomorrow morning.  I have to do this.  I have to prove to myself that this whole thing has not been a fluke and 6 pounds does not define my efforts.  Also, at Body Pump I'm going to increase my weights and at Body Attack I'm going to try some level 2 exercises.

Day 63: Sort of Bored

Track Date was pretty good today. I jogged a little over 5 laps, so I know that doing 6 full laps non stop is really a possibility.  On another note, I avoided all school work like the plague! I just couldn’t get into it, but I have no choice, tomorrow I have to do everything that I committed to doing.  Today was supposed to be a "2aDay" but I didn't work out this evening and I feel sort of bad about that.  I don't know what I've got to do to get out of this small funk......I gotta figure it out. You know what it is, I’m bored again. 

I'm bored with work, bored with school, bored with working out (well not completely yet, but getting close).  I feel kind of restless.  That means it really time to pray and reconnect with God.

Sigh......

Day 62: WEEK 10

In 2 more weeks I won't be able to call myself a quitter because going into week 10 of training for a marathon clearly dispels that notion.  Actually it's pretty cool to say that I haven't quit at something when it got hard.  I pushed and continued pushing.  So, what are my goals for this week?  I think that it will be beneficial to beak my weekly goals down a little bit more.  So instead of just the exercise stuff, I think that I want to include school and eating as well.  I'm not doing to good in school right now and that's primarily because I have not been as focused on it.  I haven't been diligent with completing my assignments nor have I been as engaged on the discussion boards, but those practices are ceasing now.  Since I'm no longer a quitter (or about to no longer be a quitter), I can't quit with school which is sort of what I've been doing.  I embraced the thoughts "This is too hard so what's the point anyway" and "School is for kids, I'm too old and struggle too much for this....this is for the birds!"  But if I continue thinking like that, I won't finish, I'll quit - totally unacceptable now!

So, for Week 10, these are the goals:
Exercise
 - Jog 1.50 miles non stop (6 times around the track) at least three out of the four Track Dates
 - Complete 1 set of 30 hills this week (regardless if anyone else goes or not)
 - Take both Body Pump and Body Attack at least twice
 - Do 4 sets of 25 crunches daily
 - Do 4 Sets of 10 push ups daily
 - Consider (really consider) going on a walk/jog at the race site in DC

Meals
 - Minimum of 1.5 gallons of water everyday
 - Fruits, veggies and grains
 - No meat, no sweets and no bread
 - 3 meals and 4 snacks

School
 - Follow up with my tutor
 - Reach out to professors regarding last week and outstanding assignments
 - Post to discussion boards on Monday with daily followup
 - Take all tests no later than Wednesday
 - Make a genuine effort Rochelle

It looks like it is going to be an extremely busy week, but it can be done.  Oh yeah, I want to design a Dream Chasers logo for a T-Shirt as well as a T-shirt design for me and this journey that says "Athlete in Training.....the marathon, the journey" I think.  I'm still not sure, what do you think.  Tomorrow I'm going to have a vote.

Day 60/61: How to appreciate.

I didn't blog yesterday because I actually hung out with friends (I know, go figure) and got home really really late.  Yesterday was a "2aDay" Friday.  I got up and went to Body Pump - which was hard as the dickens because my body was already tired and hurting but I made it through.  No, you know what, I didn't finish the class because I had to leave early to go to the doctors.  Hummmm, the doctors huh?  We will have to revisit the doctors appointment at a later time because more stuff has to be done.

Because I didn't finish Pump, I went back to the gym to jog and did pretty alright.  I didn't jog any less than a mile at one time.  I have to build up my endurance so that I can jog multiple miles without being completely worn out, of which I was when I finished.

Today is Saturday and traditionally I'd do Body Attack, Treadmill and then Pump, but I just couldn't do all of that today.  I did Attack and gave it all that I could but when the class was done, I was done!

Although the workouts have been good and I accomplished a major goal this week, it doesn't feel like I thought that it would feel.  Maybe I'm being extra melancholy about it all or had unrealistic expectations..... I don't know......... I thought it would be this overly joyous time in my life but it doesn't feel like that.  I said to myself, "Self, maybe when you can jog two miles or even three miles or loose an additional 14lbs so that you would have lost 50lbs, maybe then you'll have that great feeling".

But as I sit here now and type up my thoughts I'm reminded that appreciation does not begin with the large things.  Appreciation begins with recognizing the quality, value and significance of the small things
involved in any task that we participate in.  CONVICTION!!  So it's not a "feeling" that I should be looking for.  It's recognizing the hard work, effort and determination that I'm putting into this dream and feeling good about every step that I take.  Looking at the value that every workout and every run and every healthy meal choice plays into the running this marathon.  I don't feel good, but I'm doing GREAT!

Day 59: Abundance of Support

I think that this may be another day that I am completely speechless.  Why you asked?

I'm speechless because of all the support that I've received.  I started this thing thinking that it would be me and God working together to accomplish this goal because some of the negative comments, but that so has not been the case.  Tonight for example, we did Hills at the Sports & Learning Complex.  The goal was to run up and down a certain hill 30 times in 30 minutes.  Now for clarity, this is no little hill, it is steep and long.  We did it last week and I was only able to do 10 of them, so I came into this thing not slightly apprehensive - I was VERY apprehensive.  Towards the end, I was really struggling and you know what........the entire gang did the last three with me so that I could get to 20 (I didn't get to 30, but I did 10 more than I did last week).  Like who does that?  Everyone was tired and had completed there hills, but decided to run with me so that I wouldn't have to do it alone.

That is just one example of what I mean by support, but there are way more examples that I could use.  I'm appreciative, floored, flabbergasted, grateful, shocked.................like honestly, I had to cry tonight because I was overwhelmed at all of the different instances of people supporting me through this journey.  Just very grateful.

Day 58: Continuing PUSHING

Because of rain and tiredness, I didn't make Track Date this morning which is kind of disappointment, but today has been a pretty eventful day none the less.  My first appointment was a dentist appointment to get two cavities filled.  I don't like going to the dentist office and today's experience justifies my reason.  She numbed my mouth and then gave me multiple shots.  While she was going it, I literally started crying because it HURT!  She said that I was doing a good job, but all I know is that I was in pain.  Needless to say, I got through that experience and was off to my next destination - a small race with the Tidal Basin Run Group.

They race every 3rd Wednesday of the month on Ohio Drive, NW (inside of Hains Point near the FDR) at 12:00pm.  There are two races - a 1500 meter race (little under a mile) and a 3000 meter race (little under two miles).  While trying to find the location, I was totally lost and thought about just going home.  But I ended up finding the meeting location and stayed.  My emotions were trying to get the best of me because as more and more people arrived, I noticed a few things:

1.  I was the only female (three other ladies eventually showed up)
2.  I was the only black person (another black female showed up right before we were about to begin)
3.  I was the largest person out there
4.  I was the youngest female out there

I felt worried, scared, concerned and did a lot double thinking my desire all at the same time.  It's weird because you'd think I'd be excited to be  running with a group of established runners, but I wasn't initially.  I didn't want to look like a goober.  So everyone lined up and the shotgun went off and so did all of the runners (including me).  To my surprise, these 40+ year old runners were super fast and focused.  I jog on the track and treadmill pretty consistently.  I didn't realize that jogging on the street was as difficult as it was.  I'm going to have to practice that more often.  I placed last in the 1500 meter race; but guess what - I FINISHED.  The stats are actually published in The Washington Post newspaper, but here is the link to the race results http://www.racepacket.com/tidalbasin/20100818.html (pretty cool huh)?

After than I came home and got ready for another doctors appointment.  But, as the novocaine began wearing off, a migraine headache was on the horizon since my tooth pain was so great.  I went to the doctors, got something to eat and went to Target to get pain medicine.  The GREAT DEBATE - go home to go to bed, or go to the gym for Body Pump & Body Attack.  Which do you think I did?

BODY PUMP & ATTACK WON!  By the way, they were extra hard today because I totally did not feel good.  Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was the pain medicine kicking in....I don't know what it was, but I was able to push through all the pain my body felt and complete the classes.  I'm actually pretty proud of myself because I did things today that I didn't want to do, but they were all in my best interest to participate in.  They all get me closer to my goal of running a marathon next year.  By the way, the route from today is the same route that I will be running on Thanksgiving Day in the SOME (so others may eat) 5k race.

Day 57: 1.25Miles non-stop!

So my goal for this week has been to run around the track 3 full times, and I did that yesterday.  Today, however, I did something that was completely unexpected.  I jogged a full 1.25 miles NON-STOP!!  Do you know how awesome that is?  Not only did I get to my goal, but I surpassed it by a lot.  After the jogging, I walked some and then jogged more.  It was hard, it hurt and it was painful......but it was freaking AWESOME at the same time.  Absolutely AWESOME!!

Today was a hard day at work, I mean really hard and I don't know if that was the motivation behind pushing myself harder than ever before or what.  I didn't make track date this morning and I don't have a good reason why.  I laid in the bed looking at the alarm clock buzzing but I had absolutely no desire to get up, so I laid there which means I missed a 4 miles morning workout.  Missing the evening workout yesterday and then "Track Date" this morning really puts behind in reaching my goal of 30miles this week.  So, I'm not sure now if I'm going to get it, but I'll continue trying to make it.

I'm an athlete (well, turning into one)!!

Day 56: Closer than EVER!

I did NOT want to go to "Track Date" this morning, but I did anyway.  And guess what I did this morning?  I jogged 3 full laps and a quarter NONE STOP!  Do you know how exciting that was?  Not only did I push myself further than I ever have, I did it with no one else there.  I mean none of my friends were at Track Date this morning, but it was cool.  Although I missed everyone, I realized that I couldn't stop pressing forward because everyone else had other obligations.  I'm not going to be able to go work out this evening because I have.......a date!  I know, I know, exciting right?  I'm pretty excited.  I guess there are other benefits to this journey, huh.  Well, more to come later!

Day 56: Week 9 (Floored)

I think that I say it just about every week, but I must continue saying it, "FLOORED!!  Who would have thought that we'd be at week!"  Ok weeks 1 & 2 yeah.............but week 9!  That's 2 months and one week!  I haven't quit and I've maintained the workout intensity.  You know what that means right?  I officially can no longer be classified as a quitter.  Well, maybe I'll give myself 3 more weeks before I make that declaration because that will be 3 months into the training.

Today is Day 1 of the next two weeks of August Intensity.  What does August Intensity mean?  It means for the next two weeks "2aDays" are a must.  Also it means that I will be carefully watching what I eat and intensifying my morning "Track Date" time.  Right now I can jog two laps around the track without stopping, so by the end of the month I need to be able to jog a complete mile non-stop with no walking.  That means this week I have to do three times around then the following week 4 times around.  Seriously, I think that I can do it.  Although today was the beginning, I didn't work out at all.  I had to be at work at o'Dark 30 this morning so I couldn't go to the track and then this evening I didn't go.  For some reason I had this pain in my knee that woke me up at 4am.  It hurt to bend and it hurt to keep it straight.  Anything that I did that required me to move my left leg caused an ungodly pain.  As a result, I chose not to do any exercise which puts me behind reaching the 30miles this week goal.  But that's ok, I'll make it up starting tomorrow.

I have a boat load of homework to do.  I have some sketches that I haven't done yet, but that's partly because I need to read and re-read that assignment.  Tonight was supposed to be a long night, but I'm so tired that I'm going to bed and will work on everything tomorrow and send it in.  I tell ya, I've got to get better with school.  It's costing me too much money to be slacking.  It looks like weekly goals are in order to avoid consistently falling behind.

Geeze, I have so much to learn but have really come so far.  The journey is hard work but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it will be worth it in the end.

Day 55: Highs and Lows

Saturday's are always tough days because I do Body Attack, Cardio and then Body Pump all within a 3 hour time frame.  I was late, so I only got in a half hour at Attack.  When the class ended, we did crunches and I also got in a little over a mile on the treadmill.  Then I was only able to stay for a half hour at Pump because I had to get my Goddaughter to Football Practice.  I went to the grocery store because I knew that I needed some food in the house, but I didn't get nearly enough to get through the next two weeks so I'll have to go back tomorrow (but first I gotta plan out my meals).

I'm disappointed sort of because I didn't get to 30 miles this week of walking/jogging, but I'm not disappointed at the same time because I did get to 27 miles which is the most that I've done in a week so far. Tomorrow is the first Sunday this month that I won't be able to do a "2aDay" since I have to be at work by 7am.  Actually it will be like this for the rest of August.  That just means that I will not get to take Friday off and I will have to work really hard every other day.  We have hills twice this week, so that should make up for not being able to work out tomorrow morning.  Tomorrow evening, however, I plan on getting in at least 4 miles (which is the bear minimum going forward when I walk, jog, run, etc.).

Man, the next two weeks is going to be intense and super hard.  But if it wasn't hard, then the reward wouldn't be as valued.  Lord would you give me the grace to push through being tired or sore or even frustrated/discouraged please?

Day 54: Determination

Man, temptation was all around me today.  It was raining this morning so I didn't get up for Track Date (plus I was plum tired) and I didn't go to the gym this evening because I promised my goddaughter that we could hangout and do fun stuff tonight instead of the gym or working out.  She is staying with me this week and has been a real trooper through my exercise routines.

The kicker has been that I didn't go to the grocery store.  As a result, my meals have not been planned out as they normally would be.  So this morning I had two individual bowls of Raisin Brand Crunch Cereal.  I don't think that that was bad, it's just that I probably should have only had one verses two.  Then for lunch I had a Stoffer's Chicken and Vegetables Pasta meal bag.  The portion size is meant for two and I'm proud that I actually split it in half and will be able to have the other half for lunch tomorrow.  Along with that I had a Caesar salad.  I could have done without the croutons though.  Then we got these popchips from the store.  They are not fired or baked.  It's weird because they sort of tasted like styrofoam with bbq seasonings.  I ended up eating the entire bag throughout the course of the day.  Then I went to a picnic and ate watermelon (of which I'm not sure if I am allergic to it or not) and ate part of a hotdog.  Yeah, I really wanted a hotdog, but it turns out that wasn't all I thought that it would be.  I don't have to waste calories or destroy the hard work that I've put in because 9 times out of 10, the good taste of something is only temporary.  There was cake and cookies and a lot of other delicious things that I could have consumed, but at the end of the day, if I ate them, a lot more work would have been required in order for me to burn enough calories so that my hard work would not be impacted.

Yeah, sometimes a sweet delicious treat is necessary or warranted, but today was not the day.  I will probably have something delicious tomorrow because starting Sunday, I will not be eating any meats, bread or sweets.  Not that I am now, but I'm increasing the intensity of this journey for the remainder of August (2 more weeks) to see if I can get to running a full mile by the end of August.  That is the goal, a full mile by the end of August and be down a total of 50lbs.  It may seem like a far stretch, but it's not.  That means that I need to be able to run an additional 2 more times around (which would give me the mile) the track and I need to loose another 18lbs by the end of the month.  I think it's doable.  The only thing that I can do is try.  If I don't make the mark it's not because I didn't try and I'll be a lot closer than I would if I didn't try.

It's official, I've been lit on fire by the determination bug to meet this goal.  I can do this..........I will do this, crap, I MUST DO THIS!

Day 53: Lack of Food

I need to go grocery shopping because today was an awful eating day.  Not awful in the sense that I ate the wrong foods, it was awful because I was just starving because I didn't have any food in the house (which is not a good place to be when you are really watching your intake).  Today is the type of day that I was ready to eat anything in sight and not care about all of the hard work that I have put into this thing.  But I came to my senses real quick!

First, I made a breakfast drink/smoothy which did not turn out so well.  I used ice, water, blueberries, banana and cucumber.  It didn't taste that bad but it ended up making my stomach hurt but I didn't have anything else to eat (so I thought) so I went to work starving.  I found a cereal bar and ended up eating that but I couldn't get myself together at work.  It was as if I was in this fog that would not lift so I came home and searched through every cabinet and shelf.  I found a can of tuna fish and got excited.  I put extra seasonings in it thinking that it was going to be extra good.  Turns out that with all of those "extra" seasonings, it was pretty not good but I still ate it.  I ended up eating a good solid meal with the Sugar Hill Gang at Qudoba's and had a really good time laughing and talking.

Track date has been rough all week and today was no different.  The air was mad thick and made it harder to breath.  Although I really believe that God healed me of asthma, it was still a slight challenge (but that could be more mental than anything else) today.  Tomorrow I HAVE to jog 2 full laps around and push myself to go further for as long as I can.  It's like I loose momentum when I go for some time and then stop and it's hard to get it back.  My body feels good (although I'm still sort of tired) so I have to keep it up

Day 51/52: Just Tired

I didn't blog yesterday because I was tired beyond tired.  We worked out yesterday morning, but when I laid down for my am nap, I couldn't get up.  Every part of my body was in intense pain and I couldn't seem to wake up, so I stayed home and actually stayed in the bed all day.  I only got up to cook something to eat and to use the bathroom.  I've never felt like that before and the only thing that I could do was sleep.

Track Date was much better today.  It was still hard, but my body didn't hurt the same way.  The goal was to go around 16 times which equates to 4 miles.  I didn't go around 16 times, but after track time and then sprints, I did a total of 4 miles.  I went to Body Pump and Body Attack this evening and they were extremely hard!  I really didn't think that I would be able to get through them, but I did and now I have that overwhelming tired feeling again.  I know that this is supposed to be mind over matter, but at what point is that not the case.

Oh, guess what......I'm down 34lbs.  I don't see it yet, but it's pretty cool that the numbers on the scale are decreasing verses increasing.  I'm excited, I think.

Day 50: 1/2 mile + Sprints

Yo, today was not a normal Track Date.  No, not normal at all.  The only instructive was to run, no walking around a few times, simply run.  When I had my stride going, I did a little more than 2 laps around with no breaks.  That's a MAJOR achievement and was part of the established goal for this week.  It wasn't easy by any means.  I kept saying "Mind over Matter" but thought to myself, "My matter is really speaking to my mind and I'm tired!"  At one point I stopped talking to myself and just ran but got to the point where all I could do was walk.  Then when I thought that we were done, we ended up having to sprint (running as fast as we can) the curve. Because I didn't finish the entire curve, we had to do sprints (on the straight) multiple times.  Honestly, although it was hard, it was pretty fun.  There were girl soccer players sitting on the bench and they actually started cheering and encouraging us to go faster, it was cool.  I have not sweat so much in my entire life, but I guess that's a good thing.

This evening I went to the gym and now I am plum exhausted.  My body hurts and I'm tired.  My legs have never felt like this before.  I'm dreading walking upstairs to get to my bed. I still have more to say, but my eyes keep closing so good night all!

Day 49: Week 8 (that's 2 months)

We are entering week 8 of training to run a marathon next year and I am floored.  Absolutely blown away that I'm still doing this.  That is 2 solid months of this training.  Although I've come a long way, I have to intensify the training because I really want to loose more weight.  Loosing weight, although was not my initial focus, it so necessary at this point because it will help me run better and faster. I gotta be able to run better since I am turning into an athlete (LOL).  My "Five 2 Strive 2" haven't changed, I just need to do better at doing them, especially taking the vitamins.

School has started back up, so I want to do better with staying on top of my school work while also maintaining the intensity of the work outs.  Like now, I am so tired, but I still have homework that needs to get done because I am not failing any classes this term.  I will be back on the deans list (GPA of at least 3.75) this term because I am more than able to do it.

This morning I had a Track Date and only did 2 miles (which is 1 mile less than my required min.) because it was mad hot outside and my pants kept falling down anytime I'd jog (LOL).  I went back to the track this evening and I don't know if it was because I was tired or had just eaten but my legs felt like a ton of lead.  I did one full jogging lap, but after that I'd walk or jog every other straight  and curve.  I got in 4+ miles, but it was totally hard.  I realized that if I am going to be out by myself, I HAVE to have music.  It helps keep my pace and motivation high.  This weeks goal is to do 30 miles and to jog a full lap and a half multiple times.  That's all!

Day 48: Went Home....sort of

I didn't do a "2aDay" today, but I went to the gym and did Body Attack and treadmilled a 5k in under and hour.  I'm getting much better at all of this stuff.  After work I came home to take a nap because my head was killing me.  We have an event tomorrow so I had to get things ready which sort of prevented me from going back to the track before it was extra dark.  So I went hard this morning and but went home this evening.  I have to stop condemning myself when I don't go as hard as I think that I can.

I didn't think that it was safe to go to the track at 10pm, but I drove by just to check it out and guess what....there were people out here and it was lit up very well, so maybe it's not too late to go.  I was thinking about getting a membership at Planet Fitness since it is 24 hours and only $10 per month (not a bad option for when I get off late but still want to work out).  IDK if I'm going to do it, I have to see.  Of course there is more that I have to say, but...............

Day 47: Accomplishment

I just spent over an hour reading through my blog and I gotta declare - I really have accomplished something.  Physically, I am just blown away!  When I first started, I was only able to go around the track 4 times. FOUR TIMES!!  And within those four times, I couldn't breath.   In one of my posts I said that I wanted to be able to completely jog around the track (secretly I thought that that was a far stretch of the imagination) and I can do that now.  Not only can I do it, but I am doing it multiple times.  This whole thing is....is.......is........something worth feeling good about.

I was feeling sort of down a few minutes ago because I didn't get a chance to work out today.  But not working out for one day this week does not negate all of the hard work that I've put into this journey.  I've lost weight, my breathing is better, I'm faster and I'm not ashamed!  Today my Godfather was commenting on my weight loss and I replied with, "Oh, it's really not that much yet, it's not anything worth making a big deal about" and his reply helped me put this in better perspective.  He said, "Get a steak or a slab of fat that weighs the same amount that you've lost and carry that around for a little while and then come back to me."  I understood.  It's ok to feel good about the good things that I've achieved.

The struggle for me is that I don't want to feel good and it turns out that everything is temporary and I have to do it all over again (because we've been down that road before). IDK, I guess I've just gotta know that it's ok to feel good about each accomplishment.

Day 46: Funky Mood & First Race!

Although "2aDay's" are hard, my body is starting to get accustomed to them.  Actually, I think that I like them.  Today I didn't get up for Track Date and my whole mood was just funky.  Like I went into work wanting to fight (totally unlike me) and I wonder if part of that not good attitude was partly because I didn't work out this morning?  Or could it have been because I found out that a friend had death in their family (I hate it when anybody I care about hurts and I can't do anything about it)?  I don't believe in the concept of waking up on the wrong side of the bed.......but I was totally in a funk.

Yeah I put on "The Face" because we had a major event taking place at work but I just wanted to crawl up in a whole.  Things didn't change until after I went to the gym.  I started out really pushing myself, but towards the end I was just trying to be finished.  I was sore and tired, but by the time I finished, the soreness was gone and I felt a little more energized.  I'm looking forward to tomorrow (sort of).

OH, MY GOODNESS, Guess what??  I signed up for my very first run today.  I will be racing in the SOME (So Others May Eat) Thanksgiving day 5k.  I'm really amped up about it.  By then I will be doing more than 3 miles jogging so I'm pretty confident that I won't look like a goober.  I sent out an e-mail to a lot of different people and folks are actually signing up to do it too.  That's amazing and it will be an exciting day for a few reasons (1. Money is being raised so that homeless individuals and families are able to eat and receive the necessary medical attention that they need;  2.  There are going to be people out there that I know).  I also committed to raise $350 for the cause.  I'm sure that with a couple of UNO's days that should be a problem to get to.  Definitely more info to come!

Day 45: Sense of Accomplishment - not yet

For once in my life I feel like I'm at a loss for words.  I just weighed myself and I am 28 pounds down so far.  I still don't feel that sense of accomplishment - not yet at least.  Wait, let me take that back.  I do feel good about it, but it doesn't seem like enough to make a big deal over.

This morning at Track Date, the pattern went like this:
Walk one lap, jog one lap, walk one lap, jog one lap
Water
Walk one lap, jog one lap, walk one lap, jog one lap
Water
Walk one lap, jog one lap, walk one lap, jog one lap
Water

You know what that equates to?  A mile and a half of jogging!  Simply amazing because I wasn't counting,  I just wanted to get through it.  At one point I did stop running because I said to myself, "Are you serious Rochelle, you can't do anymore of this".  But Tiffany's yelling and me knowing that I have to see it through caused me to pick up my feet, pick up my head and pick up my arms to run with purpose.  I sweat more today than I ever have.  Body Pump and Body Attack added to the work out this morning has produced one tired sister.  Good Night all!

Day 44: The Journey

What I thought and what has really transpired are two different things
 - I thought that hills would kill me, but I'm still here
 - I thought that I couldn't do lunges or dips or high knees, but I did them
 - I thought that I wouldn't be able to breath, but I'm still in haling and exhaling
 - I thought that any form of physical exercise was impossible, but I'm doing it every day
 - I thought that I was a quitter, but I haven't quit


Yo, this is so much more than a physical exercise.  I forgot who I was.  NO, better yet, I forgot who God has said that I am.  I'm going through a re-identification process.  With every step, with every mile, with ever tear..........the journey

Day 43: Failure produces something

I found out today that I failed all of my classes for the last term and I am blown.  Initially I wanted to go to that place of depression (with no one knowing of course); but, it's weird because I didn't go there.  I called my advisor and e-mailed my professors to see what I could do in attempts to bring up my grades.  One said that I could turn in a paper that I missed which will take me from failing to passing.  I'm waiting to hear back from the other two regarding their decision.  

The lesson for me is that failure produces something - either fruit or a weed.  Fruit provides substance and energy to perform a task whereas a weed's job is to take away the life of healthy plants.  I had to ask myself what was this failure going to produce - will it be a character building opportunity or will I allow it to kill me?  I've decided that it's going to be a character building opportunity!  

My mind is being renewed with each step that I walk or jog.  This journey can be applied to every aspect of my life.  This morning at Track Date, my emotions were on 10 and I allowed them to control me verses me control them.  As a result, I didn't push as hard as I could have.   I learned from that experience that emotions really are controllable.  Not that I want to ignore the feeling, but that particular moment may not be the best time to respond to it.  So with knowing that, this evening when I went to the gym, I pushed through the tired feeling and I did a mile in 14.53 minutes and a 5k in 48 minutes.  Both of those numbers are my best to date. 

Failure produces something, what are you allowing to spring up?

Day 42: Go Hard or Go Home

Day One of "August 2aDays" and I am done.  This morning I did like 4.24 miles with one jogging lap around the track and the rest walking.  This evening I did like 3.20 miles with a number of jogs included in that run.  My morning workout was a push, but I feel like I didn't push myself as much as I could have.  I think that that's mainly because of the breathing thing, but I'm not using that as an excuse anymore.  There was a father and daughter on the track and the father told his daughter, "Stop thinking about breathing and just breath!"  If I stop allowing breathing to be my focus, I'll get the rhythm and pattern locked down in order to maintain my stamina to keep going.  Stop talking about it and just do it because every workout has to be harder and above and beyond what I've ever done.  This evening Tiffany was not there initially, but I was determined to push a little harder than this morning and I did.

I can do this.  I may have to tell myself every few minutes that I have everything within me to do it, but that's ok because I'm getting up and going to the gym or track or wherever I have to go to get this done.

Rochelle, YOU ARE DOING THIS.  YOU ARE GOING TO UNCHARTED TERRITORY!!!!