Day 60/61: How to appreciate.

I didn't blog yesterday because I actually hung out with friends (I know, go figure) and got home really really late.  Yesterday was a "2aDay" Friday.  I got up and went to Body Pump - which was hard as the dickens because my body was already tired and hurting but I made it through.  No, you know what, I didn't finish the class because I had to leave early to go to the doctors.  Hummmm, the doctors huh?  We will have to revisit the doctors appointment at a later time because more stuff has to be done.

Because I didn't finish Pump, I went back to the gym to jog and did pretty alright.  I didn't jog any less than a mile at one time.  I have to build up my endurance so that I can jog multiple miles without being completely worn out, of which I was when I finished.

Today is Saturday and traditionally I'd do Body Attack, Treadmill and then Pump, but I just couldn't do all of that today.  I did Attack and gave it all that I could but when the class was done, I was done!

Although the workouts have been good and I accomplished a major goal this week, it doesn't feel like I thought that it would feel.  Maybe I'm being extra melancholy about it all or had unrealistic expectations..... I don't know......... I thought it would be this overly joyous time in my life but it doesn't feel like that.  I said to myself, "Self, maybe when you can jog two miles or even three miles or loose an additional 14lbs so that you would have lost 50lbs, maybe then you'll have that great feeling".

But as I sit here now and type up my thoughts I'm reminded that appreciation does not begin with the large things.  Appreciation begins with recognizing the quality, value and significance of the small things
involved in any task that we participate in.  CONVICTION!!  So it's not a "feeling" that I should be looking for.  It's recognizing the hard work, effort and determination that I'm putting into this dream and feeling good about every step that I take.  Looking at the value that every workout and every run and every healthy meal choice plays into the running this marathon.  I don't feel good, but I'm doing GREAT!